Why do we want things so badly that we just can’t have? Why do we want to do things we are not supposed to?
Why, oh, why?
What is so darn appealing about the forbidden?
Ahhh, the forbidden. Even the word itself is kinda sexy, right? Say it ten times in a row and, you’ll see, even your voice gets low and sultry. It sounds so alluring and hot and fascinating and – wrong, just plain wrong…so wrong, that it becomes “right” in our minds.
We start to justify why we should have it. Once it’s off limits, you better believe we want it…
More than ever.
All of a sudden we want it, we need it, we have to have it, we can’t live without it. It becomes our new obsession…
You get the point.
It all goes back to that damn Eve and the Garden of Eden and that silly apple. She wasn’t supposed to eat it, and guess what happened to her?
Not such a good outcome for dear Eve, yet we still all want the forbidden. We didn’t learn our lesson…not even from our biblical girl.
I’ll tell you why…because anything forbidden makes you want it more. The more off limits it is, the more you crave it, yearn for it and desire it.
Ugh, the complexity of the human mind. It’s all about fulfilling and denying temptation.
For example, when a person goes on a diet, all of a sudden they are hungrier than they have EVER been or they start craving foods that they don’t even want.
It’s insane!
How about when you see a sign that says “Don’t touch”?
Need I say more?
It’s like we want to defy…
Period.
Let’s take men married or in a relationship for example. When single women see an attractive man, they are more interested in him if they believe he is already in a relationship.
In fact, one study found 90 percent of single women were more interested in a man whom they believed was taken, while only a mere 59 percent wanted him when told he was single.
Yep, the forbidden fruit effect.
The bottom line is that forbidden things seem thrilling in comparison to the monotony that some feel they have in their lives. Besides, everyone wants what he or she can’t have- sometimes just to see if they can get it
Trust me on this one.
There’s something in our human nature that desires what it can’t have, something in all of us that likes the chase of a challenge and the thrill of conquering.
How many times have you walked past something – clothing, shoes, a car, a person, etc. – and not even given it a second thought? All of a sudden, when someone else is buying it or it’s no longer available, you want it.
It’s the ol’ “I only want it because someone else has got it“ theory…
You want it bad…bad enough to find any way to get it. Your mouth is salivating, heart is racing, fingers tingling and you’re ready to snag it.
This is where our carnal instincts kick in.
There was a “Sex in the City” episode where a party was held, and as an entry to this party, each guest brought someone they were no longer interested in so that others could meet them and mingle.
Charlotte meets a darling man and she becomes interested in him. The moment his ex-saw that Charlotte wanted him was the very moment she wanted him back. They were later seen having “ex-sex” in a guest room.
Goes to show you…we want what we can’t have, and sometimes don’t want what we can have.
Maybe in order to stay interested in our partners, we must think of how awful we’d feel if we couldn’t have them anymore.
If that doesn’t work, maybe it’s time to take them to a singles mingle.
The truth is, rarely does the forbidden turn out to be that great. In fact, yearning for someone or something “off limits” is usually an endless cycle of agony, with no fulfillment, no payoff, and definitely no grand romantic ending. And if you don’t believe me…
Just ask Eve…
Until next week,
Love,
Karin
