Whatever Happened to the Moral Compass?

Whatever Happened to the Moral Compass?

My daughter, Danielle, recently asked me a question the other day that really struck me.  This amazing daughter of mine, who happens to be starting medical school this June (I’m so beyond proud of her, as a side note) stared right at me and asked,

“Mom, what has happened to everyone’s moral compass?” 

My first reaction was relief in knowing that she sees the difference between right and wrong. 

But the silver lining in this sad observation is that she sees it on her own without my having to point it out. 

Wow, a millennial who actually sees past their own self-indulgent ways.

I’m glad to know that the values I’ve been teaching her from the beginning have actually stuck.  

But the real piece to this puzzle is the sad answer I had to give to the “question” about where the values of society have gone.

The short answer is that we now live in a society where rules, societal norms, honesty, morals and values rarely exist- -where humanity has little or no conscience. Hurting our friends, our families and/or co-workers, peers, all for individual gain or agenda is the new rule, the common standard by which we now live.

Traits like honesty, integrity, respect, loyalty and honor have been replaced with deceit, fraud, corruption and duplicity.  

Figuratively walking all over anyone for social, financial, or political gain is a regular day on the farm. 

And I don’t mean Ol’ McDonald’s either.

We hear things like fake news and wince because we are sickened by the source saying it …

But it’s is true.

Life right now seems to be about a self -created image —a carefully construed narrative we produce all on our own.

We scroll through our social media staring at pictures of smiling, happy families (who are anything but), perfect bodies posed in bikinis (most are unrealistic and photoshopped to look sexy), and seductive snapshots (to get attention) of people all vying for an extra “like” or “comment” to reinforce their own narcissism. 

What is happening?

We’ve got the media twisting words just to sell more papers, we have the news outlets paying people to betray their own relatives. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/technology/jeff-bezos-sanchez-enquirer.amp.html We have bullies in our schools, anti-Semitism and racism on the rise, school shootings at an all-time high, and we wonder why our kids can’t even interact without a cell phone.  

We live in a culture that is self-serving and ego-driven. 

If adults are stepping on each other without any boundaries or respect, how in the world are our kids going to learn right from wrong?

 We are supposed to teach by example.


When we are too busy giving in to our own needs and desires, how are we supposed to effective parents?

When we allow our very young girls to pose seductively, what message can we possibly be sending? 

Parents are hosting bar/bat mitzvahs, sweet 16s, graduations, birthdays and get-togethers where “some of the school friends” are omitted because they aren’t “cool enough to invite.” 

What are we teaching our youth? That exclusion is okay? That omission is part of life? That your child didn’t make the cut, but oh well, peaking in the 8thgrade is all that really matters as long as your kid is popular? 

Isn’t raising kids a marathon and not a sprint? What happened to the whole, “It takes a village” ideology? 

I think I know what happened. I think the village was taken over by the idiots.  (Sorry)

Is it that we want the best outcome for ourselves and our children so badly that we will walk all over anyone to get it? 

Today’s world holds very little honor.

I see clients whose husbands or wives leave them for their best friends. (A big ouch.) 

I coach women who are heartbroken when they are left for someone younger, prettier and more youthful. (Grass isn’t always greener)

I talk to wives who leave their husbands and small children for wealthier, more prominent and powerful men. (Usually ends in disaster and, btw, I assure you there’s no bigger, better deal.) 

I hear stories of friends who get discarded because they aren’t in the same social circle or financial stratosphere of others. I talk to divorced moms who can’t even get in a carpool for their kids because the other school moms are too worried their hubbies will be in direct contact with these women. 

I just can’t understand where decency went.

I talk about my father, Sam, in many of my blogs —a man who shaped my very being and continues to do so. Truthfully, he comes out in me more and more, each day, as the years go by. 

The lessons I learned from him keep being taught long after his passing. 

My father was from Europe. He came here as an orphan after surviving the Holocaust. He had nothing but the shirt on his back and the drive of a hundred men. 

He worked hard and he never cut corners. He taught my sisters and me about life, real life, and the meaning of respect and the importance of one’s word.

He displayed principle and he lived by his reputation.

He had honor and integrity.

In a world where the moral fibers are tearing at the seams, perhaps it might be time to double down on honor and decency.

I sat there with my daughter and explained to her that she never has to lower her standards to accommodate those that refuse to raise theirs. I encouraged her to always stand up for what she believes in and that if she ever doubts the direction of her own moral compass, to always remember that eagles don’t take flight lessons from chickens.

Until Next Time,



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Until next time,



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