I’ve come to terms with the fact that the whole world is definitely a little off.
I mean, totally and utterly bat-sh*t crazy.
In the simplest of loving terms, the path that we’re all on is called the “journey of life” and that journey has so many twists and turns and ups and downs that our reactions to life’s surprises sometimes sends some of us over the edge.
Just peace and love.
After all, I have my own special crazy but we can certainly delve into that another day.
Here’s the thing … we all have our very own unique brand of weird and there are no two crazies alike —kinda like fingerprints.
By the way, relax. We are all a little nuts, it’s not a contest.
When trying to find a partner in life, it’s not about finding someone who you have a million things in common with, but rather whose crazy gets along well with your crazy.
And if each of your crazies can play nicely in the sandbox … well, need I say more?
You’ve hit the jackpot.
When you first meet someone, I suggest it’s best that you don’t introduce him or her to your insanity right off the bat. That side of your personality needs to come out slowly and in doses.
Like allergy shots.
This allows for each person to gradually become acquainted with the other person’s unique personality in baby steps. Anything that is revealed too fast, too soon, is a recipe for disaster. So that is precisely why crazy must be controlled like a well-trained poodle.
Some folks take madness to a whole other level.
And through research, I’ve composed my own list of some of the full-blown crazy that’s out there:
Every sentence begins with “I.” They do what’s only good for themselves with little regard for others or the consequences of their actions. These peeps generally can’t hear you over the loud toot of how awesome they are. Generally, it’s their way or the highway. (I’ll take the side street, thank you.)
These lovelies are just plain crazy because they lie and you can never figure out fact from fiction. (Kind of like an Oliver Stone film.) The walls of honesty are broken down early on, and therefore trust cannot ever be formed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Can anyone say Pinocchio?
Fear not, they know it all —about everything, and they let you know every chance they get. And, remember, they told you so.
They shoot you down faster than you can say, “Iceman, this is Maverick.” These cats, if you allow them, will gun down your hopes, dreams and plans with digs, sarcasm and covert attacks. Their assault is usually swift and skilled. By the way, these people often disguise their airstrikes as “honest advice” caked with the best of intentions.
This person transforms from normal to crazy faster than David Banner in “The Hulk.” They explode into distorted rage out of nowhere, and then, kaboom … they are back to being normal again. Cray-cray for sure!
They suck the emotional life right out of you. After being with them, for even short periods of time, you feel emotionally spent, exhausted and in dire need of, at the very least, a nap or an iron suppliment.
This is the person who yells at waiters, cashiers and salespeople. They are just plain mean and lack patience. Tick them off and oh, boy, watch out. (Also interchangeable with the Werewolf.)
The Ladle Server
These crazy people are like Liquid Drano because all they do is dredge up crap. They are the ultimate pot stirrers. Whether it’s in your sump pump or someone else’s, they’re always looking for the next sh*t show.
They ignore social boundaries and never leave you alone. They stalk your Facebook, your Twitter, your Instagram and any other social media site they can find to see what you’ve been doing. They “friend” all your friends, your exes and any other connection you’ve made since grade school. Think “Single White Female.” On the needy scale, they’re a DEFCON 5.
If you’re searching for someone who isn’t one fry off from a Happy Meal, think again. We each have our own set of idiosyncrasies that make us who we are …
We need to relish those oddities within one another and ourselves.
However, we also need to look deep inside and really take note of whether or not our actions are “normal crazy” or “abnormal crazy.” Are we our best selves or are we operating with old programs that are pushing people out of our lives and urging us to get real help?
When you meet that special someone, do not ignore the red flags that eventually begin waving. (And they will begin waving at some point, I assure you). Will that narcissist be there for you when you need them? Will that sniper be supportive of your ideas or will they shoot them down, leaving you feeling insecure and vulnerable? Will the vampire give you space for other people in your life?
Working relationships allow for a balance between tolerance and compromise when dealing with each other’s madcap. So, before you settle down with that special someone or make a new bestie, make sure you can live with exactly what you see — and that includes the good, the bad, the ugly … and the crazy.
If you still want each other after that, you may proceed with caution.
And in the best of circumstances … maybe even schedule a play date for your “crazies to get together”
Until next time,
Born and raised in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Karin has a BA in sociology, with a minor in psychology earning honors at Michigan State University along with certification in relationship and grief coaching. She is currently accepting coaching clients and can be reached @[email protected] for a free consultation.