Manning Up

Manning Up

Definition of “Manning up,” “Be a man about it”: To do the things a good man is traditionally expected to do, such as: Taking responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions; displaying bravery or toughness in the face of adversity; providing for one’s family, etc.


As maturity is setting into my 40-something-year-old brain, I’m taking a closer look at the men around these days, and I am profoundly struck by what giant wussies they are. Sorry.


In my own opinion we have a generation of boys that are afraid to be men, afraid to commit, afraid of responsibility, afraid of hard work, afraid of maturity, afraid of being reliable and afraid of being relied upon. These men need to grow some “baitsim”. (Yiddish for balls)

These men have been raised to feel that women are replaceable, disposable, expendable, and can be duplicated, substituted and replicated. How sad.


Women are not space holders until the next one comes along. So my question is: Where are the men who are truly men? The ones that are honorable with their intentions, don’t string you along, aren’t looking for the next best thing, a meal ticket, an affair, a good time or a fling? Where, oh, where might they be?

In today’s culture, these men just don’t want to grow up. They fear boredom and prefer a suspended post adolescence. Where are the men that meet you, court you, commit to you, propose to you and share a life with you?

Here’s one answer you may not like…


It’s women’s lib. That’s what’s happened. Sorry, you heard it here first. Please, if you want to vomit… go grab a trash can or just throw this post away. I would suggest now be the time to do so because this is where the Buddha brat comes in. (Anyone care for a Pepto???)

With the rise of feminism, women were offended at being treated like ladies, and this directly caused the death of manners in many men. Since girls can do anything boys can do, some boys no longer think they need to do anything extra for girls. This in turn has made the men of today less respectful and less gentlemanly than ever before, in any generation. They don’t feel they have to chase, honor, pursue or elevate a woman in any capacity. It’s crazy. For me personally, it’s not about feminism or equality. It’s about behavior.

I love having my car door opened, I want my chair pulled out, and I expect to be treated like a lady. These are things I value as a woman. I am certainly not offended when a man is valiant. In fact, that is one of the very qualities that I look for in a man. I think deep down most women do, as well.


When I take a peak at my children’s generation, I see a bunch of boys being raised without the faintest of clues on how to be gentlemen.


I am a very strong woman and believe in equality. But I do believe that in the rise for feminism, somehow we lost chivalry as collateral damage. I am old school, old world, old values and traditional in many ways. I still believe romance and gallantry are so important in the male/female relationship.

As women today, we are now expected to do it all – everything. (And we can) But we’ve also grown to expect less of our men and more from ourselves.

Today there are so many choices, and men can just sit around on their smart phones sorting through social media sites, dating sites and porn. Everything is just one click away from having. Today’s men can order a “booty call” and Chinese takeout all in the same five minutes –all while still living under their parents’ roof.


Women are ready and available in a moment’s notice, and social media sites have become a modern day deliverable buffet for men. God bless technology.


It’s been a double-edged sword, because with the rise of women, men have turned into boys. The child-man is a reaction to a widespread cultural uncertainty about men, an uncertainty considerably aggravated by pre-adulthood.


With women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are almost obsolete.


Women are finding that they have no choice but to wear the pants in the relationship (whether they want to or not) because that’s what society has set up.


When suddenly they find their “man” is PMS’ing and are shocked by it, I often just shake my head.


It is important to know what traits, from a partner, you are looking for in a relationship. This will make the selection process much easier.


If finding a man with traditional values is important, then don’t settle. You may have to compromise your own expectations just a little, but stay firm in what your own values are and always remember to communicate.


Until next week,





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The BuddhaBarbie team….

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