I usually prefer to write about love, relationships, a little ‘man dissing’ (had to say it or you would have) some parenting advice, divorce, etc.
Today I need to talk about a topic I really never touch upon.
“Mommy bashing”
Yes, we all know the term and have heard it time and time again; that little thing we do when we tear apart one of our own tribe members because we’re all so perfect and standing tall on our soap boxes adorned with PTO home-baked cookies while balancing enough soccer balls to fill the halls of any sports store.
Yep, you know exactly what I mean.
It’s kinda like emotional cannibalism.
But, today, I’m having a hard time swallowing it.
Need I say more?
I’d like to know, where has the instinctual protection gone when talking about other mothers?
Now, you know that I am a mom — a proud mother of three, nonetheless — but I am certainly not a mommy blogger, nor have I ever been one or intend to be one.
I’m a writer that happens to also be a mom.
Today, I’m simply writing as a witness to a continual injustice that I see every day of my life.
All around me. It’s everywhere.
Okay, I feel like this is a campaign to save the mommies like I used to watch on TV years ago with the baby seals: “Send just 56 cents a week to stop the clubbing of the baby seals.”
I always did it. My mother had to cancel the credit card each time.
I liked standing up for those seals years ago — or any other underdog. I’ve always been that way and I still am.
I know, I know. Let’s face it. We are all guilty of mommy bashing someone — at least once.
Right?
But here’s the thing. Mommy bashing seems to be done mostly by moms themselves judging other moms.
So where did we go wrong?
For real.
Why do we rip apart our own sisters? Aren’t we supposed to be a village? I mean in every village there are a few idiots — so okay. It’s all good — and we’re supposed to feel compassion for those idiots (most of the time).
I mean, of course, if those idiots are idiots because they are drunk and popping pills all the time and their kids are neglected and abused, okay, judgment there.
When did women start turning on one another instead of helping each other out?
Honestly, there is no winning the war waged against mommies.
It’s Vietnam all over again. We cannot win.
Period.
For the most part, aren’t we all doing the best we can? And, if I have to be honest, I would say that most of us are truly doing the best we can with the tools we have. But life is hard and there has to be room for error.
If we stay home, we have abandoned our careers.
If we work, we are abandoning our children.
If we dare complain about motherhood, we’re terrible, unworthy mothers.
If we don’t get our bodies back postpartum, we are fat and lazy and considered unattractive.
If we hire a babysitter or nanny, someone will say that we are selfish. (Okay, that one was personal.)
If we go out with friends, we are too wild.
If we get divorced, we are egocentric for not thinking of our children’s best interest.
If we get into a new relationship, we are self-indulgent
If we don’t generate enough income, we are worthless.
If we do one other thing besides being a mom — we are narcissists.
The list goes on and on and on.
I’ll tell you from experience that being a mother is not easy, let alone a divorced mother. That’s why I am usually not a huge advocate for divorce unless the situation is abusive or intolerable.
Raising kids today is hard.
Raising kids as a divorced parent is even harder. That is a fact.
Here’s the thing. Moms love their children and they love them a lot.
Are all moms meant to be moms?
Probably not.
Do we all want what’s best for our kids?
Most likely.
Are we all making mistakes?
You bet.
So next time you bring out your club to bash the mommy next door, remember… if you are not Mother Teresa, then save your club for the golf course and probably keep your thoughts to yourself.
Oh, and for just a small donation of 56 cents a day– we can save any mommy of your choice.
Until Next Time,
Love,
Karin
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