Jealousy is a disease

Jealousy is a disease

If you were on social media yesterday than you already know that it was, “International Women’s Day” based on the hundreds of beautiful photos of women, their daughters, their mothers, etc.

What does that mean?

Well, it was a day for women to come together, celebrate each others’ achievements, past and present, pledge to empower one another to reach their full economic potential, to thrive and succeed.

All good stuff.

It’s all part of the #metoo movement, which is a movement that has been incredibly inspirational and supportive for all womankind.

Here’s where I seem to have a bit of an issue.

Forgive me if I offend anyone but this is my personal blog and I am entitled to voice my opinion.

If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

Simple.

First, I think the Internet makes things more confusing every day. The world of sexual misconduct and confusion is thrown in our faces daily, almost mimicking a witch-hunt at this point.

Second, while I am completely in favor of women sticking together and empowering one another…

Let’s be honest.

The #metoo movement started when women, with similar stories, started bonding over sexual misconduct.

Something very bad.

So I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, will women stick together when it comes to the absolute good for each other?

I mean…

Will they cheer on each other on when one gets a movie role and the other doesn’t? When one gets a great job and the other doesn’t? When one gets the guy and the other doesn’t? When one gets the promotion, the salary increase, the better vacation, the bigger home, better car, the more loving children etc.

Will the #metoo movement prevent jealousy permanently amongst women?

I’m kind of guessing, it might not.

Close friends recognize that in an atmosphere of financial differences, there will always be material differences between them. But genuine and deeply valued relationships, however, should not hinge on anything other than love.

Wanting what your friends have is not that unusual, and enjoying the opportunity to share what they have can be great—but resentment of their good fortune is not.

Not only does this go against the #metoo movement but it goes against every moral fiber of girl code 101.

If you enjoy a friend’s company and value the relationship, you need to keep your negative feelings under wraps.

After all, that’s what good friends do. Right? #womenwholift

When it comes to envy or jealousy or criticism of a friend’s other friends or significant relationships, the temptation to share your negative perspective can sometimes be even stronger.

But that still doesn’t make it okay to do.

Many of us have the nerve to believe that our viewpoints are better than those of our friends when we are standing outside their other relationships.

Even when a friend talks poorly about another friend in front of you, it’s wise to be discreet in your response.

(Plus make sure no one else is listening or spilling your info)

The worst thing you can do is jump on the bandwagon and say things that could be potentially humiliating if circumstances next week have you sitting at a gathering or event together.

So what can you do when your friend needs to vent about a different friend and you don’t agree?

You can provide a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. You don’t have to agree or intensify the hate of the other friend or offer a different perspective.

Jealousy can be a complex and painful emotion. I like to think of it as a disease because so many people are inflicted with it. It destroys one’s ability to see things how they really are and this virus stems purely from envy.

While I respect the #metoo movement, in theory, I actually think that many of our female society want to tear other women down.

When we want what others have, it speaks more about what is missing in our own lives than what is actually present in a friend’s.

Wanting the best for others is a karmic law that always comes full circle. We can never go wrong wanting only good things for other people and be raising our children with the same moral compass.

When we turn on one another and go from closest allies to scariest foes, its actually reflecting a funhouse mirror version of who we are, not who they are.

We don’t need to lower the stock of other women to feel better about ourselves.

What we need to do is focus on being cheerleaders and advocates for each other and that way, in the end…

We all win.

Until next time.

Love,

Karin

 

 

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