I find romantic relationships to be so interesting:
– Those that are knee deep in one are bored and want to be out,
– Those that can’t find one are desperate to be in one,
– Those getting out vow to never get back in,
– And those that say they’ll never get back in, well, they wind up eventually falling in love ALMOST ALWAYS.
I’m saddened by the recent split of so many Hollywood couples. From the outside, it always looks like a case of familiarity breeds contempt, or boredom or neglect or simply the mundane life of normalcy that causes the demise of most marriages.
For many, settling down is a prison sentence. Some are always looking for the next best thing and jump from one person to another in search of the next high, the next ego enhancer, the next image booster.
Dating becomes a sport and the ‘kill’ winds up being the current love. It’s those people that enjoy the hunt far more than the kill itself. Those are the ones that can read Chapters 1 through 10, but yet they never finish the book.
I like to refer to those as the non-closers, the commitment phobes, the thrill-seekers, and the Shallow Hals.
In the end, these people concern me. Will they ever find the love they need that will take them gracefully into their older age?
Chances are, probably not, because the problem is with them. Many of these people throw away perfect diamonds in search of what turns out to be just plain stones.
When you see a man or woman who has gone through MANY love relationships that have not led to anything, you’ve got to wonder if it’s them. Yes, we are all picky and some of us have higher standards than others, but usually when you see that kind of turnover, that is a huge warning sign that you are NOT the one that will change them…you’re simply their next victim.
“Run, Will Robinson, run!!!”
Another big thing when it comes to relationships is a little something called the ‘time factor.’ It’s all about timing. Sometimes people come into our lives and they ARE right – but the timing is not. One might be ready, while the other is far from it.
The problem with those relationships is that one person inevitably always looks back with angst and kicks themselves while thinking, “How could I have let he/she go?”
This is very common.
Remorse and hurt can come immediately or many years down the road, but I assure you, it does come in some form or another after clarity has set in.
Devastation, however, only lasts so long before someone else catches your eye.
I used to think soulmates were irreplaceable when it came to love. My mother always laughed at my theory. While I have maintained the same mantra that there is only one soulmate per person, yada, yada, yada, she has begged to differ with me for years.
We would have this same conversation with seeming similarities to the movie “Ground Hog Day.” I would go over and over ad nauseam how each of us has only one soulmate, and if that soulmate leaves us, how could life go on.
She never wavered on the fact that a woman can love many times in her life.
Guess what? My mother was right.
Everyone is replaceable, EVERYONE - excluding your children and family. I mean it in reference to partners.
Every day I hear of a new break-up or divorce. All these sad people who feel like their lives have fallen apart and that the sun will never shine again in their world.
Here are my feelings:
As sad as it is to lose a partner, it is NOT the end of the world. It is a new beginning. We can love many times and many people. There isn’t just one person who has the key to our souls.
There are many.
That is why no one – and I mean no one – should take their partner for granted.
Relationships are a choice, and if the parties involved are not working hard at making the other feel special, I promise you that someone else will step up to the plate and take a swing.
It is just human nature to want to be wanted, so if you think for one moment that neglecting your significant other will earn you eternal happiness, I assure you that it will not.
If you believe that work or your friends or your workouts or your girls’ night out or guys’ night out or anything or anyone is more important than your partner, I have a one word for you…
Remember that Beyoncé song where she sings, “Don’t ever get to thinking you’re irreplaceable”?
As I watch more couples break up and new couples being made, I am both hopeful and heartbroken at the same time. Excited by the possibility that love is always just one right person away, yet always aware that there isn’t just one right person.
In the end, remember, just because you think someone’s your soulmate doesn’t mean they are your lifemate. I now say–“what will be, will be”.
And stop worrying!!!! There’s a toilet seat for every tush–and then some.
Until next time,