I write about relationships and love and life. I try to be fair and express how I feel in a dignified manner. There are some topics I stay away from because I just don’t want the hassle of the debates or to tick off the trollers who have a need to express their opinions; as well.
However…
Today, I want to talk about women’s relationships with each other. It seems to be very united these days but perhaps that’s just because we have finally come together to fight for the same cause.
A cause I believe in and a cause that I am happy has come to light.
But there’s a caveat….
I don’t think there is any woman that hasn’t been flirted with or had a man come on to her at some point in her life. I would be a liar if I said that I don’t enjoy when a man finds me attractive or has flirted with me.
I think we all like the ego stroking.
I also believe there is a strong difference between abuse of power and everyday flirtation and banter between a man and a woman. (or two men or two women)
I find it just a bit hypocritical how all these Hollywood actresses have come forward to burn these men at the stake (which they RIGHTFULLY should) but would be the first to run their fellow woman over with a bus to get a part in any movie or show.
Do you want to convince me that women haven’t abused one another, in different ways, for centuries?
They’ll stab each other in the back to steal your guy, your job, your friends, or anything else they can get their hands on to get ahead? You really want to convince me that taking out all the men in this equation and putting 100% estrogen in any situation with no balance is really the best thing?
C’mon. You must be kidding? It’s a joke.
I’m just waiting to hear the longterm fallout from all of this. The women who fall in love but the guy won’t make a move, the girls that put on that special outfit but never get flirted with, the ladies carrying a bunch of packages and get the door flung in their faces—all because the point had to be proven and the trickle-down effect has made its way into all of our lives.
Goodbye chivalry.
All I’m saying is that there is a middle ground.
Men are hunters and sometimes these hunters mutate and assertiveness turns into aggressiveness, flirtation turns into harassment and making the first move turns into assault.
This is NOT OK.
But just like we prepare ourselves when we climb a mountain, or camp out or ski or hunt… we should do the same in ALL areas of our lives.
Think: strolling into the forest without your protective gear.
Do we walk the streets alone in a bad neighborhood?
NO. We most certainly do not. We need to be prepared for danger in all situations.
For one thing, don’t go unaccompanied into a hotel room, don’t drink too much when on dates, if you feel unsafe and threatened, call the police. Don’t leave your child alone on a movie set or alone in ANY place under 18.
Period.
I also find it a bit disturbing why any woman would put herself in a vulnerable position and go up to ANY HOTEL ROOM alone, unaccompanied for an interview. Do I think most of these women had heard about Weinstein’s reputation?
The answer is yes. Reason being… Even I heard and I am not in the industry.
So the question that keeps circling in my mind is why did any of these women put themselves in a position of vulnerability? It’s one thing to have this disgusting man corner you and fall prey to many of the abusive things he is being charged with. It’s another to willingly walk into a dangerous situation knowingly.
Why walk into the lion’s den when you know he’s hungry and looking for a meal?
Could it be that many of these actresses that went into Weinstein’s hotel room were willing to risk it all for their careers? Is it possible that their desire for success was so great that they were willing to do what it took to get it?
It was unfair and it was wrong and nobody deserved this, but each actress that walked into Weinstein’s hotel room, somehow someway was willing to forgo their safety, at that moment, to possibly achieve what they needed.
In my lifetime, I have been asked up to multiple hotel rooms. I have never walked into one unless I was dating the man for long enough to know what he was about and making sure somebody knew where I was.
The abuse of power and sex that has been illustrated for years must come to a stop. But Hollywood has swung the pendulum all the way to one side, once again.
There is a huge difference between flirtation and harassment, between saying, “You’re beautiful” and “Get down on your knees under my desk or you’re fired”.
I’m sorry but I do not want to live in a completely female-controlled and dominant world. I want a balance of men, too. I think things have gone too far and we are now in castration mode.
I am not a traitor to my gender and I applaud the true victims for their bravery for coming forward. But at the same time, if it’s a few of us it’s not necessarily all of us.
#Metoo
#Timesup
#whenitmakessense
#Besmart
Until Next time,
Love,
Karin
