Failure To Launch

Last week I was talking to a good friend of mine who lives out of town. For obvious reasons, let’s refer to her name as “Misty.” (I’m not quite certain how I came up with that name, but I did.)

 

She was confiding in me a very deep and personal issue that has been tormenting her life these days. I asked if I could write about it in my next blog because I thought it could be enlightening to others.

 

She had no objection with that as long as I kept her identity hidden. (The blogger witness protection program)

 

I must admit, it took a little time to figure out how I was going to word it because it’s — let’s just say…it’s quite the delicate of subjects (both literally and figuratively), but I think I figured out how to do it. Okay, so here goes:

 

My friend Misty was telling me that life for her hasn’t been quite the same since she and her man parted ways about five years ago.

She was telling me that she’s had a few different short-term relationships, but that whenever she goes to get intimate with a new partner…well, the truth is — for lack of a better term…that her “space shuttle” “fails to launch.” “Fails to launch, I asked. Like as in Cape Canaveral?”  My voice had reached a new escalating shrill. And she replied, “Yes, exactly.”

Oh, boy. By now she had my full attention. I mean, by no means am I an expert, or doctor, or even the best person to ask. However, I did have two good ears to listen with and a few major questions to ask. So we delved deeper into this dark and disturbing issue in order to get clarity. Clearly, she needed a friend and a solution.

The questions started pouring out of me like rain from the sky. I needed to help my friend because this was quite the frustrating situation to be in. I mean, really…this was really a huge problem and she needed my help.

My first big question was, “Did your space shuttle launch with the man from five years ago?” She immediately replied, yes.

Okay, we were making headway. We knew that she had launched before. This was good news – very, very good news. I sighed a breath of relief…phew!

Next question: “Okay, are you able to ‘launch’ on a solo voyage?”

She quickly replied, yes, though a smidgen embarrassed.

I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

“So let me get this straight,” I continued. “So the space shuttle is on its launch pad, the rocket engines are on, there’s definitely smoke and loud rumblings – but no matter what, it just never launches when a new astronaut is aboard?”

She replied, yes.

I needed more information to get a really good evaluation of what was happening.

I quickly responded by inquiring, “Are you sure the most recent “new”astronauts, once on board, were fully proficient in the use of all equipment?”

She replied, yes.

I mean let’s face the facts, some astronauts need a little extra personal training on a new mission especially with a fresh new space shuttle. All shuttles, while very similar structurally, still tend to run differently.

There can be some technical issues, engineering issues, and other external influences that can surely abort even the best of missions.

I mean deep down, we all pray that once a new voyage is scheduled, that all crew members have been fully pre-trained and certified — but ya know, sometimes a bit more instruction is necessary for a successful launch. And certainly we all know that a fake “launch” is even worse than a “no-launch.” Right?

Sadly, some astronauts don’t even know the difference.

 

Ok, let’s proceed.

 

My last question to Misty on this matter was regarding the environment surrounding her last failed missions. We all know how important that can be – otherwise it can have a major impact on the efficiency of all operations.

She assured me that the environment played no role in her failure to launch.

I kinda had a hunch what was going on, but believe me, I can only give advice as a friend.

I asked her if she had seen a doctor. She said yes and that she is physically fine.

I questioned if she had gone to a:

Therapist,

Psychotherapist,

Physiotherapist or

Sexologist –

It sounded emotional or even psychological to me.

She replied she had seen a therapist and that she was told she’s a little depressed because she had never gotten over her last love. Her therapist felt that she hadn’t really had full closure with the last relationship.

So she was depressed. Okay, this was making more sense by the minute, but I needed to call a doctor friend of mine for other suggestions. I had to help Misty because, otherwise, this kind of condition would lead to plenty of “tsuris” (Yiddish for stress or worry).

After a brief conversation with my doctor friend, I called Misty back and said to her, “My friend thinks that your depression and trust issues have filtered down to another “area” of your life and that in order to “launch” again- you need to go to therapy.

 

We were making great strides here. I felt like I was helping.

I remember watching that episode of “Sex and the City,” “The Real Me.”

The girls are sitting around a coffee table:

Miranda: How do you know it’s depressed?

Charlotte: There are symptoms.

Carrie: It can’t meet its deadline?

Miranda: It always wants to go to Krispy Kreme?

Charlotte: It’s so funny! Ha-ha!

Charlotte: My lady area is depressed!

Charlotte: I have to keep a journal for it.

Miranda: “Dear ****** why so blue?”

I remember laughing at this episode. I guess it was a message that our emotional health can definitely affect our physical health in a big way.

Charlotte wound up being cured with a little Zoloft and what they called in that episode “embracing and loving her girly part.”

As Misty and I spoke a little more, we were getting closer to figuring out some different things she could do to help resolve her problem.

The first conclusion we came up with was that she needed to be in love again before scheduling any new space expedition (other than a solo one) and that the next astronaut aboard was going to have to be someone she felt completely safe, comfortable, secure, and utterly in love with. Anything short of those specifics may cause another failure to launch for her.

It is important to listen to your body.

Our bodies give us so much information on a daily basis. Sometimes we just have to listen. As Deepak Chopra says:

Feel what you feel.

Accept what you feel.

Be open to your body.

Trust your body.

Enjoy what your body wants to do.

And most of all…listen to what your body is saying. It needs to be heard.

Until Next Week,

 

Love,

Karin

 

 

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