Does the thought of commitment cause you to experience symptoms that include a racing heart, dewy forehead, weakness in the knees, or possibly even a feeling of faintness?
Do you walk around listening to the little voices in your head that scream at the top of their lungs, “Don’t fall in love”?
Do you insulate your heart from getting too close to a member of the opposite sex better than Grandma’s Thanksgiving leftovers in the freezer from last year?
Well, my friends, you very well may be suffering from what I like to call “Posttraumatic Relationship Disorder.”
Yes, you heard it. I’ll even say it again – “Posttraumatic Relationship Disorder.”
You might not even know you have this common disorder until long after your last relationship experience has passed. Typically, after a divorce or break-up, both men and women are at high risk for developing a wall of protection against intimacy and love without even realizing it.
It’s sort of like when you get thrown off a horse, you’re supposed to get right back on, but the kind of fall that is experienced from a nasty divorce or devastating break-up takes ‘plummeting to the ground’ to a whole new level…and who wants to ever feel that again???
I think it’s the kind of thing that if you don’t take the plunge into the next relationship that has potential of having great meaning, ya just might not ever settle down again.
You’ll just move from relationship to relationship, like a ‘partnership nomad,’ never really finding a home.
Some people prefer that.
I find that I’m more like a penguin. Did you know most penguins mate for life?
Relationships gone sour can leave you feeling burnt to a crisp and preaching the universal mantra of ‘never getting married or committed’ ever, ever again.
Those with huge issues stick around until things get serious, and right when the fork in the road comes, they bail to avoid deeper connection associated from past mistakes or trauma.
I actually find this more common with men than women. There they are with their heart in their hands, venom in their eyes, sipping their alcoholic truth serum, slurring all the reasons why, “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore” (song by Rose Royce).
Okay, okay, I hear ya, but given time and the right person, sometimes the tune will change.
The reality of life is, no one wants to be alone forever. And if you open up your heart and let love in – you will find it. You just have to get over the pain of the last relationship and let a suitable partner have a chance.
Finding that suitable partner is a whole other story.
We can all go on to love again. I recognize it’s hard not to become jaded and cynical when love leaves you feeling like a deflated and sad raft in the pool of romance.
But thankfully the heart CAN float and WILL float eventually when the right person hops on for the ride…metaphorically speaking, of course.
So don’t stay too long in the river of defeat. When someone that catches your eye comes along, open the door just a little and let love in – even if you’re wearing a full body harness.
Until Next Week,
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The Buddha Team