Are you someone's backup plan?

Are you someone's backup plan?

Last week I was at the gym doing my usual cardio workout on the elliptical (yawn) when a good-looking guy I know from ‘around town’ gets on the elliptical right next to me.

I know he’s starting to talk to me because I can see him out of my peripheral vision, turned facing me, and his mouth is clearly moving, but what he doesn’t realize is that I can’t hear a single thing he’s saying because my ear buds are on and my music is blasting.

I take them out and we begin to chitchat, which is fine because it makes the time go faster.

Anything that makes my workout go faster is always a blessing, right?

So the chitchat goes from one subject to another – blah, blah, blah – nothing major, just idle banter, but I could tell it wasn’t so innocent.

I know it wasn’t just my ego trying to play evil jokes on me, but I just really felt like he was hitting on me.

Believe me when I tell you I know when I’m being hit on.

Anyway, he has a girlfriend.

I know, I know. They aren’t married, they aren’t engaged, et cetera, but I really try very hard to be a girl’s girl and not break the code of honor.

We’ve all made mistakes.

I think if all women formed a cohesive ‘don’t try to steal another girl’s guy policy’, we’d have a much more peaceful and blissful world.


However, with that being said, sometimes you just don’t KNOW, and men lie to you or do this little thing called ‘omitting’ or distort the truth, and you think their path is clear and it is most certainly not. And then without even knowing, you’ve just landed your precious heart at an airport where another heart is parked, and then nothing is taking off into the blue skies other than a disaster in the making.

Let’s proceed…

So I happen to know from some reliable sources that the woman he’s dating is ‘crazy in love’ with him. I also know that he and his girlfriend are really an exclusive couple.

So you must be asking yourself the same question as I was…um, why was he hitting on me?

Casually I ask, “How’s it going with so-and-so? You guys seem really great together.”

He says, “Well, you know, I don’t know where things are going, but I can tell you we are definitely NOT serious,” yada, yada, yada.


Good lord.

She’s shopping for gowns and he’s rehearsing the relationship last rites.


Suddenly I was getting that same feeling you get when you have to drive over an already-dead animal in the road to avoid oncoming traffic.

I should tell you up front that in recent years, I’ve grown to develop a very sophisticated bull**** detector. It’s like no other. I can sniff out these guys a mile away like a dog in the K9 unit.

You know how Haley Joel Osment saw dead people in “The Sixth Sense”? Well, I see wolves in disguise.

But, wait, there’s more.

I then went on to say, “Your girlfriend is so pretty and you guys seem so darling together.”

I was trying to show girl unity and bring her back into the conversation to remind him.

He was not buying what I was selling. He was simply ignoring me and trying to flirt away.

Here’s the clincher: As he proceeds to leave, he asks if he can call me when he decides if things are going to work out or not, and goes on to ask what exactly my status is.

Does ‘utterly nauseated’ count as a status update?

At that point, I ignore his question, because why even feed the situation, and ultimately he walks away into the fitness horizon…alone.

Now, my smart and loyal readers, you may recall my prior post where I talked about BBDs, or people who are looking for the bigger, better deal…ding, ding, ding! Well, may I present evidence for your viewing pleasure?

I’m just trying to exercise, listening to my tunes, minding my own business and I’ve turned into someone’s BBD.

“No. Get it? No. This is not okay. Listen up, chump. Handle yourself and others with respect. If you’re not into your new lady friend, tell her. Give her the courtesy of honesty and then move on.”

And that goes for everyone. Stop trying to have your cake and eat it too or eat the cake and lick the frosting and have others lick your spoon and play with your batter. Whatever the saying is – stop!

I don’t want any part of your exit strategy.

Moral of the day is, if you really want to find that special someone, then you need to be special to someone.

This includes having both feet in the water and not a toe in anyone else’s pond.  

Until Next week,


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The Buddha Team

4 Responses

    Great article! I know that guy…he’s every guy I have dated! hahahahah…Fuckers! They want everyone to think they are amazing…the truth is they are totally insecure and have zero respect for anyone but themselves! Lots of those guys floating around acting like big shots….total turn off!!!!

    Amazing post!!
    It freaks me out to see how people can be so dishonest! Seriously, I think, why do some people even do the effort of talking to me? These people are definitely not worth my attention. That’s how I think.

    And they are lucky not to have their faces smashed on the floor – look at me all superwoman transformed.

    I have zero tolerance for stupid people, any kind of stupidity included.

    See you hun!

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