Do you have a very special someone or “friend” of the opposite sex that you share all your secrets with?
You know, a special someone (who is NOT your significant other by the way) that you talk or text with almost every single day and share all kinds of juicy tidbits about your personal life?
Hmmm… Sound familiar?
If this answer is yes — then you could be having what we like to call in the relationship world, “an emotional affair” and not even know it.
An emotional affair, they say, is far worse than even a physical one. This is because the level of intimacy that’s being established is far greater than just a “roll in the hay”, or a one night stand.
So what are the signs you might ask, just in case you’re looking for a quick diagnosis?
Sit back and get some TUMS because your stomach might begin to churn after reading this
10 warning signs of an emotional affair:
1. You are withdrawing from your significant other.
2.You are preoccupied and daydream about your “friend” more and more.
3.You are not interested in being as intimate with your significant other, either emotionally or sexually.
4.The amount of time you and your significant other spend together is less.
5.When confronted about the possible emotional affair, you respond angrily, “We’re just friends.”
6.You find yourself anticipating when you can communicate or be with your friend again (texting, e-mailing, talking, et cetera).
7.You share your thoughts, feelings, and problems with “your friend” instead of your significant other.
8.You find reasons to give your friend personal gifts.
9.Your friend seems to understand you better than your significant other does.
10.You keep the depths of your friendship a secret from your significant other.
If you find yourself repeating over and over ad nauseam about how much this special friend ‘just gets you,’ you’re probably already having an emotional affair. This doesn’t mean it’s gone to physical land yet – and I do mean yet with a capital Y-E-T — because chances are very high that once there is an emotional connection, usually a physical one is soon to follow.
It’s sorta the law of nature.
And If you deny it, then you have bigger blinders on than a racehorse at the Derby.
Can you say nay?
Not every emotional affair leads to a physical one; however, many unfortunately do.
In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience sexual tension building.
Cheaters often feel guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved…. BUT IT’S STILL INTIMACY OUTSIDE OF YOUR EXISTING RELATIONSHIP.
“If you put perfume on a pig—it’s still a pig.”
Usually, these special friendships begin as platonic and very innocent. But just like the snap of a finger, they can slip rather quickly into a full blown emotional affair disguised as “BFF’s”. (best friends forever, and ever)
And then, kaboom, the unthinkable has happened. The friendship is no longer just a plain ol’ friendship. You’ve now gone from BFFs to FWBs (friends with benefits).
So what’s the big difference between having a friendship and having an emotional affair?
In my own opinion – and, believe me, that doesn’t make it fact — I believe any new friendships of the opposite sex that are formed, outside of work or haven’t been technically grandfathered in before the initial relationship or marriage was formed– and become too personal or intense after the fact, are not so kosher.
In today’s world, you can go from a shoulder to cry on to a body part to ride on in no time. So word of advice… be careful with new friendships made on the playground…
And whatever you do, stay clear of the swings.
Until next time,