It might just be me.
G-d I hope not.
But as I get older I feel like I know less and less about life. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I really thought I had all the answers.
I thought I knew what was coming next, what tomorrow would look like-
You know—the big picture, the blueprint of each week, each month, each year carefully constructed in my mind to look and feel a certain way.
I had consciously created the life I wanted and was living it.
Or so I thought.
I had a plan.
You see, plans don’t work without back up plans. But when we are all so busy living our lives day to day—we don’t think something is going to come along to disrupt our carefully outlined ecosystem.
But it always does. And it’s always by surprise.
This past year I have witnessed and heard so many life-changing events. Trauma’s that were not foreseen, deaths that were not predicted, accidents that were not planned etc.
Each incident has affected me by showing me how very fragile life is and how in the blink of an eye everything you know to exist and love can change in a moments notice, with no regard for what “our plan” is.
We don’t get married with the intention of getting divorced. Yet the divorce rate is over 52% and growing.
We don’t get into long-term relationships to break up. Yet, a report cited that 70% of straight unmarried couples break up within the first year.
We don’t think we will lose our parents, our children, our siblings, our friends to sickness or death. Yet, it happens daily, out of the blue, for no particular reason.
We don’t think we will lose a job, a friendship, a trust, a home, a pet, but we do.
There is no rhyme or reason to life.
Besides the obvious- I think one of the greatest disappointments we have in life is that the things we might hold in high regard—others simply don’t.
We desperately want people to share in on our values– but in reality, they sometimes just may not.
That’s why I am such a big proponent of finding your small circle and keeping them close.
I find there are just some really simple rules to live by that allow us to control our own little world despite what’s happening around us.
- If you hurt someone- say you’re sorry. You don’t get to agree or disagree. Hurt is an emotion and apologizing helps it to heal.
- Be happy for other people’s happiness. It costs nothing and brings good karma.
- Don’t step over someone to get to someone else. There’s a proper protocol to life. Don’t be sneaky. It will bite you in the end. Loyalty is a funny thing.
- There is no bigger, better deal. Usually, when you trade, it comes with a whole other bag of crazy. Practice just being grateful for what we have.
- Nobody’s life is perfect- so don’t compare. When times get tough-relax.
- We have all made some bad decisions- look at them as learning experiences not regret and don’t let yesterday’s disappointments cloud tomorrow’s blessings.
- Be happy being you. Love your flaws and quirks. We are all weird. Love your brand of crazy.
- Be true to people behind their backs. If you don’t like them, don’t have them in your life. Be big enough to own it. But certainly, don’t talk about their lives because I promise he/she will always find out. (Remember, you never know whose allegiance is to someone else)
- Don’t burn bridges. You never know when that route will be your only way through a storm.
- Forgive. We all make mistakes. Holding on to grudges says something more about you than it does them.
Life is short and the decisions we make today affect our tomorrow.
So while we are all trying to figure out life, one thing I know is for sure.
When you love yourself first, everything else falls into line.
Until Next Week